Just Two Sticks in the Mud (Meredith)

[Natalie Zhao]

“肏。”(Fuck.)

The silver-haired prefect muttered Chinese profanities under her breath while she packed, stuffing in what few items she’d brought to the island. It wasn't hard to tell from her stiff posture and furrowed frown that she was not impressed. Already, after only a few months, she was moving out. Some prefect had wanted her own dorm with a friend, and Natalie had ‘so kindly offered to give them her room’. Of course, she hadn’t actually, but that didn’t seem to matter to the island’s officials. Natalie just had received notice that she was to move to room ‘3G’ to make room for their ‘senior prefects’. The silver-haired prefect rolled her eyes.

The pressure manipulator had two main concerns about the mess. Firstly, the disrespect she was shown in being asked to move was ridiculous. She thought she worked extraordinarily hard, and having this be her reward fuelled a growing anger in the pit of her stomach. She would never express this, though. Secondly, she was to room with Meredith Monroe, the prefect leader. Now, Natalie had no reason to hate her. On the contrary, in fact Natalie was sure she’d like her. Ms. Monroe likely had a dedication to work that was commendable even among the most professional. That was why she was leader, after all. However, Natalie’s dorm used to be where she relaxed and allowed herself moments of peace despite chaos everywhere else. It was her only place of stress relief. With the prefect leader in her new dorm, though, the girl couldn’t see herself doing that. So, she was jittery, and had gotten little sleep the previous night.

In other words, the girl had about as much grace as an angry panda bear on cocaine.

With a heavy sigh, she zipped her pack shut and slipped it over her shoulder. Its main weight consisted of textbooks; the only other contents were some hair bleach, a straightener and hairbrush, toiletries, and clothes. She had nothing else to her name. Natalie paused as she prepared to leave, taking one last glance of her room. It was emptier than the day she’d come in. It was just as boring, too, but that suited her. Clearing the frown from her face and sliding her old keys onto a desk, Natalie took off.

A couple curious glances were shot her way, but the prefect didn’t let it bother her. She was lugging around an old, beaten-up backpack filled to the brim with various items. It was expected that she would earn a few looks. Arriving at her new dorm’s door, Natalie hesitated and pursed her lips. She stuffed her hand in her uniform blazer’s pocket and pulled out another key, and yet she still didn’t move to open the door. She was unsure if it would be impolite to invite herself in, but she also didn’t know if the prefect leader would be there. However, she could be walking around the dorm naked, unaware that her new roommate was to arrive that day. Even just the possibility of that made Natalie’s face flush a little red. Perhaps it would be better to knock.

Neutralizing her expression, the pressure manipulator clenched her hand into a fist and rapped on the door. Her hand fell back to her side, her posture straightened, and she adopted a polite smile, taking a small step back. This time, she would focus on keeping her Chinese introductory habits at bay. Or, at least, that's what she promised herself. The door creaked open and Natalie’s attentive eyes flickered up to meet the violet ones of the prefect leader, and she extended her hand to shake.

“Goo’ morning, Ms. Monroe,” she started, heart pumping in her chest, “I am Natalie Zhao, your assign roommate. Is very good to meet you.” Her accent was thick: even she could hear it rooting itself among her words. It was embarrassing and the silver-haired prefect found it difficult to keep her expression calm and neutral. She was even struggling not to bow. Natalie’s stomach sank to her feet and she curled her toes. This was going to be rough.

[Meredith]

Over the past few months, the Ashford Project had been dancing around a fine line with Meredith Monroe. They were allowing her to keep many of the comforts she had become accustomed to as prefect leader in order to keep her complacent. On the other hand, subtly yet undeniably, they were revoking enough of her privileges to send a message: you're being edged out, and soon, you'll be nothing.

The surviving Monroe twin scoffed at the thought that the government actually believed she gave a damn. She delighted in the idea that they were sitting around a table at a board meeting, meticulously, strategically devising a timeline to excise all those so-called privileges that she frankly could not have cared for less.

Now, the deeper implication, the message that she could soon find herself useless in the escalating war, unable to serve, protect, or help anyone, powerless to stop any impending calamity… that was cause for some concern.

But even the small hope that her position enabled her to offer some semblance of light, or safety, or order in a place of darkness, terror, and chaos was fading. The harder she worked to be the leader that the school needed, the more impotent she felt. Every path she tried to follow, whether it was creating harmony within the prefects or aiding the battlefront or any of the myriad of responsibilities that seemed to fall in her lap, invariably led to the same bitter end: smashing headfirst into a figurative brick wall. If she were honest with herself, she would have to admit that being dismissed from her title would have felt more like a relief than a dishonor.

After years of serving as the prefect leader, longer than anyone else who had previously held the title, Meredith was finally beginning to let herself believe that perhaps she had given enough of herself to the job. Perhaps losing her soulmate was enough. Losing her unborn child was enough. Losing her youth, her innocence, her optimism, her sanity, that was enough. Nobody could ask her to give up anything more in the name of Ashford. Therefore, when the higher-ups let her know that she would be sharing her large, grandiose living quarters with another prefect as their latest way of letting her know that she was that much closer to being just another brick in the wall, Meredith was nothing but pleased at the news. The absurd size and extravagance of the dorm had always stricken Meredith as wasteful and impractical, and it only highlighted the fact that she was always alone—no roommate and certainly no company, since most of the school either hated her, feared her, or found her too intimidating to approach.

Much to the dismay of the government officials if they found out, the news of a roommate to come was the best development in Meredith’s life in months. With that in mind, the meticulous perfectionist had cleared her agenda for that day to ensure that everything would be perfect for the arrival of her new best friend.

Ignoring the sensible voice in her mind that was repeatedly crying “stalker,” Meredith had looked up the prefect’s file to get a sense of Natalie Zhou’s background so that she could make reasonable preparations. The two had interacted in passing on many occasions, Natalie being a member of the Beta Squad, yet Meredith could not, despite her best efforts, recall any useful details about the young woman such as a favorite color or a preferred tea. It was shameful, really, the generally kind-natured prefect commander thought. It didn’t seem like so long ago that she had earned the nickname “Mommy Prefect” for being the Alpha who made it a priority to knock on new students’ doors to introduce herself and have them promise to come find her if they ever needed anything. It stung a little to remember that, actually, years had passed since those simpler times. Lately, her reputation was closer to that of an ice queen or a recluse.

As she was a rare longtime survivor of Ashford and noticeably much older than the other students, those in charge of the program quickly realized that she was much more useful off the island than on it. Female, attractive, and with a distinct aura of warmth, she was the perfect diplomat. Her usual day was spent meeting with parents to explain that their children would be safe and cared for and that they would receive the highest quality of education and training for their unique abilities. Occasionally, she attended federal government meetings and briefed the Senate’s Gifted Youth Committee on the latest news from the Ashford Project. After all, how could the school be anything but a haven if it was run by a motherly blond girl? Every lie she was forced to tell made her more disgusted with herself, but she had to keep telling them if she wanted her few friends on the island who were still alive to stay that way.

Consequently, despite her title of “leader” of the prefects, she rarely met with the prefects much at all, sparking new rumors among those who did not already know her that the prefect leader was isolated and cold. Also, she was forced to resort to creepy tactics like pulling up a file to learn more about a new roommate.

Though Meredith expected to glean the file for a few useful details, she had instead found herself soaking in every word about the girl’s life, in tears over the tragic details. She was horrified to learn that Natalie had been abducted by a Chinese gang when she was just a child and forced to live in repugnant conditions. Anger and concern filled the caring twenty-two-year-old as she read that Natalie had been molested as a young girl and was so deprived of affection that her heart latched onto the closest thing: a boy who could speak English, and even that tiny comfort was eventually taken from her.

Unfortunately, even as her heart broke over every word, Meredith still did not know if Natalie had a favorite tea. But having learned of the girl’s hard life, she was determined to do her damned best.

Standing against her front door so that she could answer it promptly when Natalie arrived, Meredith scanned the room, appraising her handiwork one last time. Several traditional Chinese breakfast foods were on the coffee table: vegetable dumplings, steamed buns filled with bean paste, porridge topped with ground beef, and a simple green tea. Beef! What if Natalie was a vegetarian, Meredith thought, and scolded herself for being so foolish and inconsiderate not to have checked earlier. A flood of potential food disasters suddenly plagued Meredith’s mind: allergies, intolerances… and what if she had just been plain racist assuming that a girl who grew up in China had to automatically like Chinese food? Speaking of racism, Meredith’s eyes immediately jumped to the Chinese decoration pieces that she had scattered about the room in honor of Lunar New Year. Was it racist to assume that a girl from China would find comfort in the red-and-gold lantern by the window or the Year-of-the-Monkey greeting card that accompanied their breakfast?

There would be no time to reconsider food or decorations, unfortunately. As soon as the panic struck, there was a timely knock on the dorm room’s door.

Goo’ morning, Ms. Monroe. I am Natalie Zhao, your assign roommate. Is very good to meet you.

“Hi, Natalie,” Meredith replied warmly, taking the girl’s extended hand in between both of her own hands affectionately. “I’m so glad you’re here. Please, come in. Welcome. Oh, and you can call me Meredith.” Meredith stepped aside, letting out a quiet breath of relief as her naturally warm mannerisms took over, masking her anxiety, which only peeked out through her expressive eyes. She had been prepared to help the girl unpack and settle in, but it seemed all she had brought was a backpack. “The closet, vanity, and bed on the left are yours. Whenever you’re ready, I’ve made breakfast. I really hope you like dim sum,” Mer invited, clasping her hands together nervously, hoping the girl wouldn’t scowl at the traditional meal or scoff at a French girl’s attempt to honor the Chinese holiday.

[Natalie Zhao]

At first, the nervousness and anticipation of meeting the prefect leader in a more personal environment had left Natalie trembling. She had little concern for her surroundings, and instead was fixated on making a good impression. So far, she was fortunate; nothing had gone wrong. The other clasped Natalie’s small hands in her own and introduced herself as Meredith rather than Ms. Munroe. A slight frown tugged at her eyebrows, though it was not from anger. No, the gesture had been soft and kind, and at the very least it calmed the young adult’s trembling knees. Rather, the angled brows came from confusion. She hadn’t expected such a warm welcome. So, although it all made the prefect leader already seem much less terrifying, Natalie feared that letting her guard down would be foolish. And so, she focused on keeping her expression blank, except for a kind smile. “Than’ you.” She looked up at her new roommate, the oceans behind her eyes calming when she found no menace.

In fact, there didn’t seem to be any 'evil' that Natalie could find. Her eyes were soft and kind, like something Natalie could imagine from an older sister or a mother. Even the subtle lines on her face indicated seniority beyond her years, which even made the Chinese girl question her roommate’s true age. She did not seem to belong in a high school, and instead came off as… perhaps someone a few years out of college. For how long had she been the leader? Natalie felt like that was something she should know, and a twinge of regret formed in her stomach. She pondered all of this as she adjusted her backpack and stepped into the room. She should've done more research. But, the more and more she thought about it, the more the girl appeared similar to someone she remembered quite well. It was odd.

But, before the beta prefect could continue with the thought, a faint (but unforgettable) odour reached her nose. Her head tilted and she paused, her beliefs reaffirmed as the prefect leader asserted that the smell was, in fact, from 点心 (dim sum). Slowly, and with much apprehension, Natalie glanced back over at her new roommate. It seemed to be that she had prepared all of it herself. That would be some impressive dedication from a Westerner, if that's what she was. However, another possibility began to surface in her mind. She couldn’t be Chinese, too… right? She had yet to encounter anyone else from Asia.

Of course, Natalie hadn’t had access to Meredith’s file. Nobody did. So, all assumptions she was to make were based on rumours and from what she saw in front of her. And, well, what she saw was rather convincing. The room was bright with reds and golds, with Chinese characters hung up along the walls and a lantern along the windowsill. Everything seemed exactly how it should be. For example, Natalie knew that during the Chinese New Year, the symbol of ‘倒’ (dào, meaning ‘upside down’, but sounds homophonous with the word for ‘arrive’) was always hung upside down in Mandarin culture. It symbolized the arrival of happiness and prosperity in the coming year. Meredith had done exactly that, which was something that Natalie wouldn’t have expected from a foreigner. Perhaps she was from China, though her accent didn’t seem to indicate it. Lost in thought, she dropped her backpack on her bed and turned back to face the prefect leader. She was hovering near the table now, wondering if she should sit.

“Pardon me askin’,” she started, rather unsure if the question was appropriate. “Are you, too, Chinese?” The girl’s voice wavered, but she didn’t give any indication that she’d noticed. “The room is ve-ry… beautiful. An’ the food looks ve-ry good, too. Than’ you so much for pre-paring it all. “ Natalie adopted a soft smile and dipped her head in respect. All of the sudden, she had a much more positive look at the whole roommate situation, though she couldn’t help but feel that her reputation was still at risk. She didn’t want to disappoint – she couldn’t. She had to prove that she had deserved her position. Her back straightened once more, and her shoulders grew rigid.